Will You Be My Friend?

Will You Be My Friend? (by James Kavanaugh)

Will you be my friend?
There are so many reasons why you never should:I'm sometimes sullen, often shy, acutely sensitive,
My fear erupts as anger, I find it hard to give,I talk about myself when I'm afraid
And often spend a day without anything to say.
But I will make you laugh
And love you quite a bit
And hold you when you're sad.
I cry a little almost every day
Because I'm more caring than the strangers ever know,
And, if at times, I show my tender side
(The soft and warmer part I hide)
I wonder,Will you be my friend?
A friend
Who far beyond the feebleness of any vow or tie
Will touch the secret place where I am really I,
To know the pain of lips that plead and eyes that weep,
Who will not run away when you find me in the street
Alone and lying mangled by my quota of defeats
But will stop and stay - to tell me of another day
When I was beautiful. Will you be my friend?
There are so many reasons why you never should:
Often I'm too serious, seldom predictably the same,
Sometimes cold and distant, probably
I'll always change.I bluster and brag, seek attention like a child.
I brood and pout, my anger can be wild,
But I will make you laugh
And love you quite a bit
And be near when you're afraid.
I shake a little almost every day
Because I'm more frightened than the strangers ever know
And if at times I show my trembling side
(The anxious, fearful part I hide)
I wonder,Will you be my friend?
A friend who, When I fear your closeness, feels me push away
And stubbornly will stay to share what's left on such a day,
Who, when no one knows my name or calls me on the phone,
When there's no concern for me - what I have or haven't done
-And those I've helped and counted on have, oh so deftly, run,
Who, when there's nothing left but me, stripped of charm and subtlety,
Will nonetheless remain..Will you be my friend?
For no reason that I know
Except I want you so.

"Friendship is freedom, is flowing, is rare... Emptiness brings shadows and crowds easy to replace. Fullness brings a friend. Friendship does not exhaust or cling, except or demand. It is- and that is enough!" - James Kavanaugh.

It is true great things come in small packages. Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed... it is a constant book always written...waiting to be read... and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements...we may argue... we may concern one another...friendship is a unique bond that lasts through it all...- Anonymous

this text really describes how I feel sometimes... and it really struck my heart. ;c

All I really want

This entry's for everyone who's very concerned about the things that are happening to me. To no one in particular i.e., no specific person...


Please accept my decision. It can never be changed. Now that I have already transferred school. All I really want for you is to move on, just as what I have did.

Please forgive me if I'm trying to give up from the start. But I never really gave up; its just that I'm trying to think and look things from a worst case scenario. It prevents me from hurting so much in the end. All I really want for you is to understand me, just as I have understood your point.

Please forgive if I left you guys this way. Believe me, its very painful for me to come up with this decision. All I really want for you is to be happy for me, just as I am trying to be happy for myself.

Please don't pretend that nothing's happened. It may have turned on the way we both don't like, but please, stop from giving me those apathetic eyes. Try not to pretend that you care, don't care, whatever. I could not fathom what you really feel because you are not saying it. And for the nth time, I really hate it. All I really want for you is to be true, just as I have been true to you.

All I really want is that happiness permeates the world we have, though reality suggests the other side...

Breakaway

Inspiring para sa akin, lalo na sa mga dinaraanan kong pagsubok nowadays... :)

Breakaway Lyrics
Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
and when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But i won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll Take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get aboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane far away
And breakaway...

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But I gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away
Breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly,
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance,
Make a change,
And breakaway...

Breakaway
Breakaway...

100 years

100 Years
Five for Fighting


I’m 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I’m 22 for a moment
And she feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15 there’s never a wish better than this
When you've only got 100 years to live...

I’m 33 for a moment
I'm still the man but you see I’m a they
A kid on the way babe
A family on my mind

I’m 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I’m alright with you
15 there’s never a wish better than this
When you've only got a 100 years to live...

Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on...

I’m 99 for a moment
With time for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every Day's a new Day

ooh ooh hoo ooh hoo ooh,
ooh ooh hoo ooh hoo ooh,
ooh ooh hoo ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo hoo ooooooooooooooh

15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15 there’s never a wish better than this
When you've only got a 100 years to live...

Nakakatuwa lang...

Nakapagsama na din kami ng RAGSJAM nung Linggo!Yay... After so many months na di nagkita-kita dahil sa busy scheds and kaniya-kaniyang buhay, sa wakas, nagkasama kaming lahat ulit. I miss them sobra!!! Sobrang lagi na lang akong devoted to school work at org responsibilities, so I can't find the time to spend with them... Pano ba naman kasi, 2 kaming nasa UP lang, e si Dory e Educ na, so wala din, di din kami nakakapagmit talaga... Sa laki ba naman ng UP e... =p

Anyhoo, ayun nga... nagkita kaming lahat sa bday ng mom ni Grace. Sobrang nag-alangan kami nila Junyl, Geraldine at Doray dahil nga pangmatanda din yun, at saka baka maulit yung dating, sinabi ng mom niya na "please let them go". Yun so sinundo nalang ako nila Junyl beforehand dahil wala nga akong pera at balak sumama... Hindi ako nagregret dahil nagbonding kaming magkakaibigan, dahil gumawa kami ng sarili naming mundo, hahaha. Dahil si Grace ay may friends pa from her job (call center, ang lupit no, tapos Nursing student pa siya), kaming apat muna ang nagkwentuhan... Kaniya-kaniyang mundo sa bahay nila, mga tanders, call center friends at RAGSJAM. So yun. Nagkamustahan, nagshare ng family problems, estado sa buhay... Sobrang na-guilty nga ako dahil sila pa ang huling naka-alam na lumipat na ako ng school... Sabi ni Doray, "di mo ba kami friends?" E hello? Mga smart sim users kayong lahat, ako lang ang kaisa-isang globe.... duh.

Pero okei lang... Ang saya. Tapos e tumambay kami nila Ge at Junyl sa Jollibee Tungko (yehes, siyudad na ang San Jose del monte talaga). Wala lang, tambay lang talaga.. Wala na kaming pera dahil saktong pamasahe lang at nilibre pa nila ako sa pamasahe (friend user, haha). Ayun. Tapos kuwentuhan ulit.

I definitely miss their company. Nung HS, kahit lahat sila ay nasa Council/CAT, tapos ako wala, di pa din kami nawawalan ng oras to talk. Ang saya talaga. Kahit nagbabarahan na kami or something, ang saya pa din. Sabi nga ni Ge sa problema ko, never ka dapat nagpaplano ng buhay. Hayaan mo lang na idaloy ka sa ilog ng tadhana. May plano ang Diyos sa ating lahat kaya ganiyan... Naalala ko pa sabi ni Asa, kaya daw ganito ang nangyari sa akin dahil may purpose ang itaas... ano kaya yun? Yung pagsali ko sa JPIA mayroon din daw. Yung pag-alis ko at sa piling ng mga kaibigan ko dun (SFAS,D2 and the hyperlinks gang, Kalaiers) meron din daw. So kelangang i-accept.

GAWD... I really miss my HS barkadas... RAGSJAM at NEXT IN LINE...

next entry (I'll try with pix): NEXT IN LINE Valenzuela escapade....

Pressures in life

Hay, eversince I transferred school, I felt that I carry more pressures than before. Naisip ko lang, nung Isko pa ko, ang tanging pressure ko lang nun ay maka-graduate ng BAA, on time at masaya ang parents. Then, natanggal ako sa course at college, umalis ng UP, then lumipat ng FEU. Parang feeling ko, ang mata ng ibang tao ay masyadong nakakababa ng self-esteem. Wala lang. Feeling ko kasi minamata na ako minsan. Porket ba lumipat na ako ng school e ibang tao na ako at lesser mortal sa kanila? Bakit alam ba nila yung mga reasons ko kung bakit ako lumipat? Alam ba nilang nasasaktan na ako?

Ang daming dahilan, ang daming rason... Ang dami ko nang pressures in life. Una, kelangan ko nang grumaduate, on time... Una, baka mauna pang grumaduate ang 2nd kong kapatid at baka magsabay kami nung pangatlo! Shet... Ako pa ata ang papaaralin nila, ahehehe...

Pangalawa, I should perform much better this time. Alam niyo na kung bakit, ahahaha... =p

Pangatlo, kelangan kong mabalik ang tiwala ng mga magulang ko.

Pang-apat mabura sa paligid ko yung mga ganung uri ng mata.

Panglima, maging masaya at bumalik yung dating ako...

Hay nalang...

Sana alam niyong marami akong prinoblema sa school at family noon... At kung kayo lang ang nasa katawan ko nun, baka gawin niyo din ang ginawa ko...

Hay...

Nalulungkot lang talaga siguro ako... I want to join the BACBACAN practices... First time ko pa naman sanang mag-BACBACAN for the batch tapos napurnada pa, ahahaha... Ayun.

Si KC Alfaro nilagnat pa... Kawawa naman, kaya sinamahan ko siya pauwi... sana ok na siya...

Wala pa kong Math book na dapat hindi ko na tinake... Pakshet, ang boring ng Math, pano ba namang hindi ako mabobore, e nag-math 17 na ko at 100 sa UP (Algeb and Trigo) and (Calculus) respectively... At kamusta, hindi naman sa pang-ookray, pero may isa akong kaklaseng hindi pa gamay ang integers!!!! O my God... ganun na ba talaga... Wala lang... Ang inferior na nga ng utak ko, tapos may di pa pala nakakaalam nun... pagdadasal ko na lang siya... O well, ganun talaga ang life...

Ang dami kong babasahin... Law, mga 18 pages balikan, History di ko pa nababasa... Ewan talaga! Leche talaga yung PH ng IABF na yun... I am really delayed ng isang linggo... Ngayon I'm suffering a negative externality that was imputed by his katamaran... gawd...

HIndi pa rin talaga ako masaya... ang daming dahilan... ewan... ano nga ba talaga ang gusto kong maging?

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong maging wizard... no kidding...

PENG YOU

After I graduated, babalikan ko tong entry na ito... tapos, i'll try na magpakuha ng picture with them... sa planning sem maybe, ewan... baka kasi di na ako pwede dun noh? si Joshua nga lang ang problema e, sa Cebu na siya forever. Tapos, I'll try to find a song na bagay sa amin, hehe... Baka sabihin nung iba wala sila dito, ahehe... By the way, planning sem picture to... okei? =p

Peng You
Kim Chui

Sa lahat ng luha
Lagi kang may kasama
Sa gitna ng ulan
Karamay mo ako kaibigan

Sa tatahakin mong daan
Di kita iiwan
Di ka na mag iisa kaibigan

Ating pagkakaibigan
Di magbabago kailanman
Kahit na magkalayo
Nandito ka sa aking puso

(Instrumental)

Ating pagkakaibigan
Di magbabago kailanman
Kahit na magkalayo
Nandito ka sa aking puso

Magkaibigan kahit kailan

Bakit nga ba tong kantang to? Kasi na-touch ako dun sa melody niya, na para bang kahit sino ang kumanta, i-sustain lang nag memory mo, magiging nostalgic ka na... Ayun... So ito... Sana di niyo ko malimutan, kahit sobrang liit lang ng space ang nai-allot niyo para sa akin sa alaala niyo... :)

TBA

go JPIA!!!

Masaya nga ba?

Yehes, dahil naging mabait na ang Diyos today, binigyan niya nako ng subjects! Whoopie!! Masaya nga ba ako dun? Superficially, yes, dahil hindi na ko papagalitan ng ama ko... Deep inside, hindi pa din... pero okay lang, sadyang ganyan ang buhay e...

Updates:

: May subjects na ako.
: 24 units this sem... TF: 12-7:30 ng gabi. WS: 7:30 am-3:30... That means, I'm gonna miss all the salient Exte and JPIA acts... Sorry Exte... Kasalanan ng FEU to dahil hindi nila prinocess ng mabilis papeles ko... Swear, try ko pa ding pumunta to my very best... Shemps mahal ko kayo diba? Yuck...
: Visited UP kanina. Aksholi palusot lang yung manghihiram ako ng law book (GO BOIBOI!). Pero sort of totoo din, kasi may law din ako this sem. Namimiss ko lang ang ingay ng JPIA tambayan... At huwag ka, kumanta kami to death ng matataas na kanta nila Janno, Addie, Leo at KC... Nagagalit na nga ang AEC/PX at si Trek , dahil nagbabasa siya ng 164 (Law on Negotiable Instruments)... Sorry Trek, pagbigyan mo na kami, lalo na ako... =p
: Got my FEU id, try to show it to my blog next tym...
: Sana makahiram ng law book c/o Karren Mortell... Yay!
: Malungkot dahil wala pa kong gamit at physical exam...
: Pinipilit na huwag pansinin pero andun siya... ano bang magagawa ko, e di kinakausap kapag may sinasabi siya, pero hindi na tulad dati na hindi minimalized.... Nire-relinquish ko lang naman ang feelings ko e, hindi ito nagpapa-succumb, ok? Hindi e, kasi talaga, kahit mababaw, ayoko ng ganun...
: Kumain sa SC at nagkwentuhan till past 8 with Janno and Addie, eventually with Baj... From country issues to HS memories... saya... Bye VP at Chair...

: At ito, nagboblog... pauwi na promise... maaga pa ko bukas!!! Byers :))

Masdan mong aking mata di mo ba nakikita?
Ako ngayo'y lumilipad at nasa langit na.
Gusto mo bang sumama?
-Alapaap, Eheads

totoo ba ito?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Powertrippers

WARNING: This entry is so emotional... This is my blog, so allow me to rant.

I dunno where to start... Its just that within this week, with so much effort I have given just to finish my fu**in' requirements, I just got fu**in' 3 results: anger, frustration, stress. I really don't deserve this shitty treatment. I have been submissive to their rules and regulations. I duly followed all the necessary requirements for registration, and now, after all the stress, muscle-aching walks, frustrating waits for that grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Program Head, whose primary function, in my belief, in the system was just to find a leisure time in his(?) work while we, the poor students, wait in vain just to have a good schedule, does he understand what do students like me feel when we wait there in abyss, yet having nothing?

I have been processing my subjects, my enrollment since Tuesday, and lo! I still don't have any classes, rooms to go and professors to love and to hate... It's so unfair, I am being nice to them, controlling my temperament, my anguish to their senseless logic in using their registration system wherein the students are doing all of the effort, while these powertrippers, mandated to help the students in the registration process, just make chismis, giving guffaws in front of the stressed, worried students. That's shitty.

Well, my dear UP friends, you know, you should appreciate the help RVC has given despite the forever wait. At least, you can have an assurance that you could get a subject, despite the unavailavility of the slots. While I, hoping for a better tomorrow with my not-so-good present, is now suffering despite the academic load has not yet permeated my system. Why these shitty things happen to me? Don't they know my parents are fighting because of their unprofessionalism, their being unethical and irresponsibility? Don't they know that I travel everyday for 4-5 hours just to process my enrollment in their dismal office? DOn't they realize that they have been students before, like us, who suffers from the hassling registration process? Or its just they're inherently indifferent about this unsystematic process? They're really powertrippers. And I hope, when I finished studying in their school, I won't grow like them, I hope I will take the other path instead...

randomness part 2

hindi ito totoo, haha =p

You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You are kind, popular, and generous. You tend to be successful at anything you try. A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd. You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Deer Animal You Were in a Past Life: Panda You are a fun-seeker - an adventurous, risk-taker. While you are spontaneous, you are not very rational.

The Animal Personality Test

wushu! =p

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

You Are Japanese Food

Strange yet delicious. Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw.

What Kind of Food Are You?

talaga lang ha?

randomness

All-Around Smart You are all-around smart. Essentially, that means that you are a good combination of your own knowledge and experience, along with having learned through instruction - and you are equally as good with theoretical things as you are with real-world, applied things. You have a well-rounded brain. 30% theoretical intelligence 40% learned intelligence

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill? Name: Age: Sex: MaleFemale Sexuality: StraightGayBisexual Flirting Skill Level - 10% Kissing Skill Level - 71% Cudding Skill Level - 43% Sex Skill Level - 99% Why They Love You You can do amazing things with your tongue. Why They Hate You You bite. This QuickKwiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 254 Times. New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

You Are 16 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Kelly Clarkson Shares Your Taste in Music

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

bakit si kelly clarkson? di naman ako mahilig masyado sa pop..alternative rules...

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first. You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How Scary Are You?

totoo ba ito??

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	3.9
Mind:	2.8
Body:	5.1
Spirit:	2.9
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	1.5
Finance:	3.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?	MaleFemaleOther
What makes you sexy?	Your hips
What makes you pretty?	Your eyes
What makes you loveable?	How sexy you are
What makes you fun?	Your ability to keep smiling
What makes you irresistable?	Everything.
What makes you cute?	Oh, just about everything ^.^
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Manindigan ka Jon...

Hay, isang malaking buwisit ang araw na ito... (kelan ba ko hindi nabwisit, hehe). Pano ba naman kasi, pinaghintay ako ng ultimate 4 hours just to get my evaluation form. P.I. talaga sila, hindi ba nila alam na nagsasayang lang ako ng pamasahe kakalakad na papeles ko? Buwisit talaga. Bulacan pa ko mga koyang at mga ateh... Kaya ang ginawa ko, kumain muna ako sa Jollibee dahil gutom na gutom talaga ako... Hy, ang hirap talaga... Hirap na nga ako emotionally, pati ba naman physically? Hahaha...

Ayun, so naghintay ako para dun sa papeles ko, and whoa!!!! Nandun lang sa office ng dean.Sa wakas, makakaenroll na ko... But no, lecheng Admissions office yan ng FEU. Buwisit talaga... Pinabalik-balik pa ko, hahagilapin lang ang papeles ko... buwisit sila.

At tapos nun, nagpunta na ako sa pavilion to pay. But leche ulit, may fine sa late enrollment! Bwahaha, mangagantso talaga ang FEU... 100 pesos ang fine. Tapos bayad na ko ng P8000 for the downpayment (dahil wala kaming pera.) Oh no!!!

At least di na magagalit ang tatay ko. Kahapon nga, nag-away sila ni nanay sa phone... Sobrang nung nabalitaan ko yun, humagulgol talaga ako dahil feeling ko ako'y malaking pabigat. Ang daming nagsink-in sa akin kagabi... Hay, lagi na lang akong depressed, nawawalan ako ng drive (as I have texted Genesis last night) and gana sa pagkain (woooh, dapat pala lagi akong depressed). Seriously, hindi nako ganung katakaw, feeling ko dahil sa mga iniisip ko about my life... Isa talaga akong pakitang tao.. Lagi kong sinasabing okay lang ako, pero deep inside hindi...

Tapos kanina, pagkabayad ko, diretso ako sa IABF (Institute of Accounts, Business and Finance), ang bagong CBA ng buhay ko. Shet, di na pala ako pwedeng kumuha ng subjects dahil tapos na.. Balik nalang daw ako tomorrow... wenk... Putsat talaga tong enrollment na ito... Kaya nga nau-understand ko ang RVC, kasi nga students na lang ang nag-oorganize for the students.. kahit forever kang mag-wait, at least aasikasuhin ka nila.. Leche, sa *** ikaw na nga mag-aasikaso ng lahat, pati ba naman paghihintay pahirapan????

Ayun, dahil dito, maraming nagsink-in sakin dahil sa salitang officially... Ito ay ang mga sumusunod:

1.Officially, I'm enrolled sa FEU, though kukuha pa lang ako ng subjects tomorrow, dahil nga tapos na daw ang session for today. Kukunin ko din pala ang honorable dismissal ko sa UP next week... tear ;c

2. Officially, isa na kong Tamaraw. Sa skool lang at sa reg form, uniform at id.. pero ang puso ko, ISKOLAR ng BAYAN...

3. Officially, hindi na ko UPJPIA Externals Co-chair. Though matagal na ito, ngayon lang talaga nagsink-in sa akin... Masakit at nagpipigil lang akong umiyak nung eb meeting nung reg kaya nung tinukso ako nilang "bakit andito ka pa?" ay masakit talaga. I love Exte. Marami akong natutunan sa committee na ito. Hindi lang pagdating sa work at people management, kung hindi lalong lumambot ang puso ko for other people. Kaya nga sabi ni Ate Iris (VP before Janno), you must have the compassion and willingness to help other people, and Janno said, kelangan talagang may puso ka. And I have achieved that in short period of time... Ang sakit talaga...

at ang pinakamasakit sa lahat:

4. Officially, hindi na ako parte ng UPJPIA. Shet, ang sakit talaga... sobra... okay lang sana kung grumaduate ako, pero umalis ako nang hindi natatapos ang JPIA life ko... Gusto ko pang mag-Networx, JPIAweek, FP, Exte chair, at kung pwede pa, VP! hahaha =p Pero seriously, sobrang sana di na lang ako pumasa ng UP para sa pag-alis ko'y di man lang ako nakakaramdam ng ganitong sakit. Oh well, sabi nga ni Jill, panindigan mo na yan, at ito ang thrust ko sa life ngayon, MANINDIGAN.

BEST I EVER HAD

Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) Lyrics

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

Huwag nio naman akong ganituhin

I really don't deserve this... Wag nio akong ganituhin. Kahit minsan, alam kong mga pabiro lang ang mga simpleng hirit niyo na bakit andito ka pa? that means half true for me. Masakit naman yung desisyong ginawa ko ha, nanganganib nga akong hindi makapagpatuloy ng pag-aaral dahil sa patung-patong na problema ng pamilya namin, ginaganito niyo pa ako? Ang sakit nun kahit papaano... Lalo na kung nanggagaling pa sa mga bibig ng sarili kong mga kaibigan... shet, ang sakit...

Pinipigil ko na nga lang ang depression ko... Salamat talaga Jill de Dumo... Ikaw talaga ang tunay kong reality check... Tama ka, hindi tama ang pagiging selfish... Walang idudulot na mabuti yun para sa akin at sa pamilya ko. Jill, tunay ka talagang kaibigan... Salamat talaga... Alam kong may problema ka din, pero nagawa mo pa talaga akong tulungan...

Jill Mae Petronio, Asamarie Arevalo, my dearest truefriends... salamat at lagi niyo kong dinadamayan, from the day na in-open ko itong problemang ito, hanggang ngayon, andiyan pa din kayo. Mahal ko kayo talaga...

UP friends (esp. JPIA batchmates), mahal ko kayo... minsan lang talaga di niyo naiisip na masakit lang talaga. Walang kuwenta yung mga pang-aasar niyo before, as in wala, pero please, be sensitive minsan kung medyo delicate yung sitwasyon. Masakit lang talaga dahil parang mina-marginalize niyo ko by doing that simple mockery. Sorry ha, I've never been this low before kaya di pa ko sanay...

Papa, salamat sa patuloy na pagsuporta, kahit alam kong isa akong matinding failure sa family. Alam kong nanganganib na din ang kalusugan mo dahil sa pasma, pero promise, pagbubutihan ko po. Nawala na yung drive ko before sa pag-aaral dahil sa mga problema natin sa bahay...

At ngayon, di pa din ako enrolled. GO FEU!!! hahaha

P.S.: Kung ayaw niyo na kong makita dahil sa mga rasong di ko alam, sige, kaya kong gawin yun. Kung di man masakit para sa inyo yun, titiisin ko na lang ang sakit... Alam kong mas masaklap pa din kay Dung, pero masakit din para sa akin yung pag-alis ko. If you want a goodbye, ok I will give you all what you want... there will be no see you later for us...

from blogthings.com

You Should Be a Musician

You have a rare combinations of talents: an ear for music, nimble fingers, and the willpower to practice. You could master almost any instrument you choose to play (if you haven't already!)

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

First day Funk

Hay, grabe, bukas, 1st day of classes... actually, I'm not yet enrolled. At ayoko pa, hehe... Nako, tama na ang ganitong mentalidad. Kailangang mapanindigan ko na ang desisyong ito. Iniisip ko nga e, mas maswerte pa ko kay JOshua, kasi siya, he can never go back to Manila, unless...

O ito, sobrang bored talaga ako... buti na lang, nakatakas ako at nakapagnet, ahehe... sobrang boring! shet... wala akong ginawa kung hindi matulog, kumain, manood ng TV, magtext, kumanta with the discman! whoopie.. halatang walang pakinabang sa sistemang panlipunan... haha. =p magkukwento muna ako ng mga naganap dis week, since puro mga nararamdaman ko lang ang nilalagay ko sa blog ko:

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Reg week ng UP last week. of course, bitter-bitteran ako dahil sa FEU na ko next sem. So bonding na naman ako sa SFAS, batchmates. At wag ka, ang ingay namin sa 3f back... walang magawa. Nagulat naman ako sa RVC dahil nakalagay name ko sa whiteboards (non-major daw), so nahihiya talaga ako... hello, di nako UP next sem, so what's the use diba?.

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1st eb meeting ng JPIA nung Wednesday. Tuwang-tuwa naman ako, dahil welcome pa din ako (YOON!) Nakakalungkot nga lang, at hindi na ko co-chair ng Externals... sadness, pero ganito talaga e. Panindigan! Haha... Naiinis nga lang ako sa isang tao at bakit kelangan pang sabihin bakit andito ka? Kahit alam kong pabiro lang yun, masakit pa din... at same person lang yun sa kinatatampuhan ko (tantanan na ang immaturity). Wushu! Tuwang-tuwa ako para sa mga kaibigan kong sila Cleiza, Bambi, Katrina at Nikki who have taken the challenge of being part of the EB. Yehes, GO Juniors!

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Pumasa ako sa FEU, at hindi naman ako masyadong masaya. Sabi nga ni Lica, kamusta ka naman, UPCAT passer ka so, papasa ka talaga dian! Ahehehe. At oo nga, pasado ako. 93 percent ako sa exam at may 99 na percentile, meaning nasa upper 1% ako ng pumasa (yabang!). Dahil don, Merit scholar ako, ibig sabihin, may scholarship forever, ahehe... UNfortunately, di pala, kasi transferee daw ako at hindi entitled sa scholarship! Pakshet! Sana di na lang nila ako nilagay sa list na yun. I felt that I was blacklisted. Biro mo ba naman, sa top 16 (yabang!) tapos ako lang ang hindi qualified for the scholarship! Kamusta ka naman, kelangan ko ng pera ateh!!!!! Grrr tlaga...

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Nanuod kami nila Archie, Micha, Charm,Chino ng the Omen. As usual, si MIcha nangilabot na naman. At wala na kong pera pauwi non. So nangutang ako sa ever kind na si Micha at nakauwi nako! Woohoo! Pinagalitan na ako ng tatay ko kasi gabi na raw ako umuwi.

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Walang kuwenta na ang other events. Some ay personal... So di ko na lang ikukuwento... ahehehe =p

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Napag-katuwaan ko sa photoshop ang Bacbacan pix... tignan natin ang kinalabasan, ahehehe. (upper part of the entry)ayaw pala malagay,next tym na lang ha! =p

Guilt

I'm so guilty...about so many things... can't explain here completely... i'll just have to enumerate, okei?

1. Guilty on what I have been doing to my parents. Di ko man lang sila isinaalang-alang sa desisyon kong lumipat ng school. Sorry mama, I've been a stupid kid everytime.

2. Guilty on what I have been doing to my friends in HS. Hindi ko na sila sinisipot lagi sa get together namin, laging JPIA or college-related stuffs. Sori guys.

3. Guilty on what I have been doing to other people. Maraming nasasaktan sa mga ginagawa ko, sori talaga.

4. Guilty on what I have done to my orgmates. Yehes, Go JPIA! haha... Sori talaga if I decided to leave... I have been the most stupid person by doing that.

5. GUilty about what I have been doing to a friend who never really hurt me that MUCH. Sori talaga kung naiinis ako sa iyo. Alam kong di ka lang showy, pero sobrang nasaktan ako nung wala ka man lamang reaction sa pag-alis ko. All you just said is ok, you can trust me. Ang daya mo... Di kita kinakausap kasi nahihiya na ko sa pagtatampo ko. Naiinis dahil bakit ako ganito sa yo. Sori talaga, sori, pahuhupain ko na lang. Siguro assuming lang ako at alam ko yun, na feeling close sa iyo... Hehe... Sori talaga. Masaklap pa, ay di mo alam na naiinis ako sa yo... ;c

Last but not the least, guilty ako sa ginagawa ako sa sarili ko... gago ko talaga, hehe... =p

next tym na lang ako mag-uupdate. :)

What kind of soul do I have?

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

What does my birthdate mean?

Your Birthdate: May 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count. You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing. Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time. You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything. Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic Your power color: Pine green Your power symbol: Circle Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

whee, lang po ito... leo, pareho tayo ng results :)

Orange County

You're rich, pretty, and living a charmed life. (Or you seriously wish you were.) From Disneyland to Laguna Beach, you're all about living the California dream life. Just make sure to marry rich - so you don't have to work for it!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

Wenk

Isang malaking WENK ang araw na to... Basta, as usual, hindi na naman nasunod ang mga pinaplano ko... olats talaga... sabi ko, 4 am ako gigising, but no, 4:57 am ako nagising... shet talaga. Buti nalang, mabilis ang biyahe at nakarating ako ng 6:45 am sa Tararun booth... wenk talaga. Ayun, tumulong ako sa Pep EBs na sina Aira (chair), co-chairs, Hazel, Jill, Acris, Milcah, at new cochairs na si Mar at friend kong si Cleiza (wohoo!). Nakigulo din ang mga VP na sina Lawrence at Janno. Dumating din si Manu, Micha, Addie, ang forever late na si Roger at Archie, VP Garma whose father is hospitalized today, Abby Wu, Mam Lau, Melbang maingay (LICA, ahahahaha), at si Banawa. Iba sa amen ay nagpunta lang for video shoot (Abby, Banawa, Addie) while the rest ay sa meetings (FP people, Peppers). Nakakaawa lang si Mark, kasi galing pa siyang Makati just for the shoot. Buti nga... ahehehe =p

Tapos, sabi ko, mag-rereview ako for the exam nga, for FEU. but then, katulad ng dati, hindi nasunod... wenk. kaya tumambay ako sa CBA kasama sila Banawa, Janno, Abby Wu, Roger at Anicia. Then umuwi si Roger. Umalis naman kami at pumunta silang Metroeast... hay, shet... gusto ko talagang sumama... nakakainis. So diretso nakong Morayta, kumain sa MCDO tapos woohoo!exam na...

Exaj, ang ganda ng facilities ng FEU. take note, may elevator ang building College of Nursing... hehe. Then, pumasok kami sa isang computer lab.. Nagulat ako, kala ko parang UPCAT na manually mong sasagutan, but no! Dahil hi-tech ang FEU, sa computer! ahahaha. May personal data pang ififill-up... tapos start na ng exam.

First ay Reading comprehension. Okei lang... di naman malalalim ang words at hindi masyadong boring ang articles. So keri lang. Next, grammar. Okei lang, di na ko bobo sa English e... then Science... predominantly, biology ang subject, kaya barberable... pero wag ka, alam ko pa pala yung aerobic respiration, sublimation at kung ano-ano pa... then math, my peyobrit... though nakalimutan ko na yung tests for congruency at kung ano pang kaeklatan sa geometry, inenjoy ko ang Math part. Patalo ang abstract reasoning... shet! nakakahilo talaga... dun ako nagtagal dahil nakakahilo yung pagkakaayos ng choices (i.e, a,b,c,d) pakshet! horizontal, feeling ko mali ako ng napili, given na time-pressured and exam... exaj talaga... sana pumasa, nakakahiya kung UPCAT PASSER ako tapos nakashift sa BAA pa tapos bagsak sa entrance exam ng FEU... wenk talaga...

Sige, nahihilo pa ko e.... babay muna... andito pa ko sa Morayta, Bulacan pa ko uuwi... hehe.

P.S.: Ewan ha, kanina sa UP, nang dumating sa UP yung kinaiinisan ko at kinatatampuhang tao, di ko siya masyadong pinapansin... Kapag may sandaling naligaw yung mata ko sa mata, sinasadya kong tumingin sa ibang lugar, or tao for example. Nung kinakausap niya ko kanina sa may BA, nagtanung kung bakit ako nagbabasa, biglang hindi ko siya sinagot at parang ayaw ko na siyang kausapin. Lica, wag mong sabihin kung sino to ah, kasi ba naman, NR xa e... Ewan, though gusto ko siyang kausapin kasi nga friend (?) ko siya. Ewan, nakakatampo lang talaga e. Ang daming bagay ang kinatatampuhan ko sa kanya... O eto di sa pagmamayabang (at alam kong wala akong ipagmamayabang), 1.75 ako sa Socio 101 at 2.25 sa Psych. Never akong nag-aral at forever na nagday-dream. Kitams. Ang keser niya kasi at GC mode pa daw kuno, pero gets? Kung kahit sandali lang sana ay dumalaw siya sa FOPC tambay or SAG workshops, malaking bagay na yun... Ewan talaga. Akala ko, nawala na yung tampo ko dahil nanalo na ang JPIA sa BA block, but still, ewan pa din talaga. Shet, never akong nagtampo sa tao ng ganito... Sana matigil na... Ang daming dahilan kung bakit nagtatampo ako sa kanya, pero kasi madami din palang dahilan para hindi... sana mawala na... AT SANA PUMASA AKO SA ENTRANCE EXAM AT MAKAPASOK SA QUOTA! WENK!

The Miasma of being a freshie

I know, I know, its been a crazy summer for me.... and now, I will be again in the situation wherein I am hoping to pass... yep, being a freshie. I sense that my transfer of school lowers my year level again, back to my younger years, of being a freshie.

I am now in a computer shop here in Morayta, near FEU. I paid 440 pesos for the entrance examination tomorrow 1 pm, and I'm happy because i could attend UP JPIA's Tararun reg and flyering tomorrow morning, and the JPIA video for the freshies... wheee!At least I could now have a VALID reason to leave the house on Saturday. Anyway, I have been so crazy about stuffs now about life... what if i become a freshie... again? I hope not... that would give me 7 years to finish college, if I'm right, BS Accountancy here in FEU has the same years with UP's BSBAA program. If that happens, I will be, a HYPERTERMINAL! woohoo! =p tumatanda na kong paurong,shet... The consolation in my situation is that if I'm a laude,with the mentioned course, well...

Why did I decided to write this entry anyways? Well, I think blog has been an outlet for people who cannot divert their emotions into other activities... well, blog releases tension, and stress, and lots of emotions we can't and can handle. So there... also to keep you guys updated about my life... (And I hope I do make sense here... )

What if I become a freshman again? This is to be more likely to occur in my mind now... I don't want my stay in UP, the units I took there to be simply, waived. I hope FEU will be nice to let me be a sophie or a junior, that will be a good news for me, I guess. But then again, there's nothing wrong in being a freshie... you'll feel again the pressure and all, the adjustments, the guilt of procastination, the GC mode, the keser-ness, and all. Kaso ayokong tumanda sa college eh. Shet, wag pala. =p